I'm going to rename myself Robin Hood, I reckon. That's who I've been identifying with lately. Not that I've suddenly clad myself in lincoln green, or taken up archery, but I am harbouring ambitions of stealing from the rich to give to the poor.
The poor in question is of course my school. Or rather, the departments in which I teach. I don't think the school itself is necessarily below the poverty line, judging by the finely catered spreads laid on for the governors and senior management. The fact is that one of the departments at least, responsible for teaching a core subject to almost one thousand pupils, only has an annual budget equivalent to hiring four supply teachers for one day. Can we have new text books? No. I daren't even mention CD-roms. Last year three quarters of that budget was spent on exercise books. Leaving the rest of the paltry amount for chalk, board pens, plain paper, lined paper, and... well, that's about it really. Don't even ask about photocopying. And I'm looking into claiming tax relief on the mountain of red pens I have to purchase in order to do my job.
What I need right now are document wallets. I need these to file the used worksheets so
that they can be re-used next year. At the moment they are spilling out of filing cabinets
and becoming muddled and more ragged even than after an hour in grubby-child-hands. But here's
the thing. I'm fed up with spending money on essentials for my job. The stationery cupboard
is guarded by a terrifying secretary who monitors glue usage as if I'm suspected of
selling it on the black market for personal gain. Or sniffing its non-toxic child-friendly
fumes for kicks. Requesting a large number of document wallets would probably mark my employment
record for life.
So here's where the Robin Hood bit comes in. I'm thinking of making discreet enquiries to
friends who work for the kinds of companies that pay for their employees' lunches and
subsequent hangovers each week. The companies who would never buy something as cheap as a
biro, but instead have boxes of the best rollerballs lining their stationery cupboards.
Companies that spend excessive amounts of money on rubbish staff-bonding weekends and
flashy company cars - i.e. companies who wouldn't miss a few cardboard files being donated
to a very good cause.
However, before I take the path to becoming a full-blown outlaw, I have a better idea. I know that companies often have clear-outs of their old documentation and files, and having worked for some pretty wasteful companies in a previous life, I know that many of these perfectly decent folders are sent to an early grave.
If your company has any old document folders or ringbinders that are about to give the
dustman a hernia, please get in touch with me.
I may then try to persuade you to post them to me courtesy of your company's franking machines,
or it could be that your office is not too far away from me or somebody I know. I'm sure we can sort
something out. Besides, red rollerball pens are very cheap to post.
If not, then I shall have to start practising archery after all...
added 24/7/03
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