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Dry Cleaning

Dry cleaning – how much?! Usually I only buy clothes that can survive being stuffed in the washing machine, knowing that they will only be ruined anyway by wear, tear and negative karma at school. But in the January sales I splashed out on a few bargains and only now do I see why these so-called bargains were left forlornly on the shelf. “Dry clean only” the labels read. Generally, if the material looks robust enough I still shove it in the machine and let fate decide if my clothes shall become car-cleaning rags or whether they will survive another week. The same goes for “Handwash only”. But these few items were definitely going to freak if they came into contact with water, so I finally made the trip to the launderette, feeling like an extra from “EastEnders”.

You could have knocked me down with a feather when the assistant (who wasn’t like Dot Cotton or Pauline Fowler in the slightest) told me the cost: the dry cleaning charge was 45% of the amount I’d originally paid for the clothes! Next time I’ll do what they’re rumoured to do in Hong Kong: buy a cheap suit, wear it for a week and then chuck it out and start again. Or I’ll just invest in a stockpile of Febreze, that spray-on stuff that makes fabrics smell nice again.

Dry cleaners must be the richest people in town, laughing at us in our wool mix trousers from their mansions and Rolls Royces. Why does it cost so much? It’s not like they have a large water bill to pay, is it?

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added 3/8/05