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Brain Fever

All week the headaches, dizziness, and general feebleness after hoiking the normally manageable boxes of books along corridors and up stairs against a current of school kids – all week this served as an excuse to loll about on the settee when I got home, clutching the cool remote control to my fevered brow for the few hours between getting home and bedtime. But when I awoke with a headache that would have split a hundred year old oak tree in half, I decided the brain fever had well and truly taken grip and had to drop the bombshell to the deputy head, who sounded half asleep when I phoned.

After dozing for another hour in bed, I called the doctors and found myself being prodded with ear probes and having lights shone into my eyes a short while later. Strangely, when I left the surgery, safe in the knowledge that it was probably a viral infection, I not only felt proud to have at last have an illness which I can confidently name on my self-certification when I return to work, but also much better. No long car commute and therefore no cause for the nausea I’d experienced twice a day for a week, no shrill bells sounding just when I walked past them, no need to stand up all day and feel dizzy as a result, and nowhere near the volume of noise experienced in any one day at school. A friend of mine recently returned to her school after a period of maternity leave, and confessed that the noise was the biggest shock on her return; I thought it would have been a blessing after having a baby squawking and crying the house down.

Feeling a bit better and having a bonus free day: what is a poorly teacher to do? Well, it turns out that there was no need to even formulate an answer, because without bells, lists, nagging, round robin notes and odd twinges of panic, the day takes on a life of its own. A bit of pottering around and indecision over whether to indulge in morning television or attempt the neglected washing up, and suddenly it was lunchtime! Clearing up a week’s abandoned clothes and newspapers must have taken the same time as an introduction to the lesson’s subject matter, three reprimands for kids turning up late, and a grand hunt for a set of missing books. Does time stretch when you have a lot to fit in to it, like lycra? Does it sag like soggy wool when you cover a particularly uncooperative class? It certainly seems to float by with graceful ease (like, ummm, chiffon, if you want the material analogy) when you have a day of freedom and a thousand possibilities that you never get around to. And the only real worry I had all day was: I may feel better now, but am I just going to feel rubbish again when I go back to school, with its noise and shouting and bells and stresses? I don’t think I need a doctor to tell me the answer to that one.

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added 22/1/05

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