Are kids really so lazy at home? Or so naively stupid? Do they think that hiding the scrap
paper or rubbish on their chair rather than walking the four steps to the bin to throw it away
won't be found out? That even though they sit in the same seat every lesson, I won't know
who is responsible? Ditto for the wall display vandalism, and the thickest crime of all,
writing on the desk where they sit, especially when accompanied by their own name or initials.
I remember being far more cunning about these things at school. Have kids lost the initiative,
or just the intelligence?
Similarly there are the cases of leaving their own, named exercise book on the desk because they couldn't be bothered to hand it to the collector-in, and then subsequently couldn't be bothered to put it in the pile in the cupboard.
Parents, if your child claims they have looked everywhere for their book, they are most probably lying. If they say the teacher has got it, they are most probably lying. The truth is, the teacher has either had to tidy it away for them, in the general skivvy session that is necessary between classes, or the teacher has thrown it in the bin to serve the lazy git right. Besides, then there's less marking.
Talking of lying, kids do it a lot. Of course, teachers do it sometimes too, but only when it's for the best, for example to the questions "Have you marked our books yet?" and "Why are the computers still broken?", and it's almost compulsory in job interviews, especially to the question "Why do you enjoy teaching?".
But one of the most annoying things about working with kids is the bare-faced blatant lies
they tell you all day long, and even worse is that they think they have pulled the wool over
your eyes. Fact is, kids, we know you little shits are lying to us. Yes you were chewing gum,
no you haven't swallowed it, no you haven't done your homework, no your dog didn't eat it,
yes you did write on the desk, yes you were hitting each other, no you haven't lost your
tie / shoes / book, yes you did swear, no you don't have an excuse for being late, et bloody
cetera. Lies, lies and damned lies.
There's just nothing we can do about it. Really. Our hands are tied. And sometimes it's just not worth
the challenge. Your word against ours. But it all gets stored up, and one day, revenge will
be very sweet... if I ever work out how exactly I can get my own back and prove that you
never actually did get one over on your teacher.
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