I thought this was going to be a simple subject to write about. After all, I have the evidence
right here next to my computer: the dog-eared exercise books bearing band names and covered in
pages ripped from magazines. I've confiscated CDs and walkmans (walkmen?) and found myself saying
that I remember the original version of whatever it is somebody's humming, although of course
the version I remember is probably not the original either.
However, trying to pin down the fickleness of music fashion isn't easy. One lesson, the
Busted poster curls itself round the exercise book so that the gleaming white teeth are
strangely distorted into a mocking grin, and the next lesson sees the teeth now coloured in
with blue biro and the boy band's eyes gauged out.
So what are "the kids" listening to? It was much easier in one school I worked in. If the class had been good, they were allowed to stay in their classrooms during wet breaks, and each year group's musical tastes would be easy to categorise.
Year 7 classes would opt to blast out
a cacophany of rock, presumably to accompany the skater lifestyle they all dreamed of as they
performed stunt moves on fingerboards. I think it's also called nu-metal, and it became a
poignant moment for me, as I also listened to the same type of music. It was driving to
school one morning, with my car stereo blasting out some wake-up track about nobody
understanding my generation, when I realised that they weren't referring to my generation at
all, and that frankly wasn't I just a bit old for all that nonsense? In fact, wasn't I now
that out of touch authority figure that "the kids" were up against? If I'd have watched the
video it would probably have contained images of the band burning an effigy of their crabby
old teacher who had the audacity to attempt a highjack of their favourite tunes.
It was the Year 8 classes where the girls got to choose the music during wet breaks, maybe
because they took advantage of the growth spurt to reach the CD player first. Their music of
choice was the likes of Missy Elliot and other rappers, although Eminem had been
banned after one teacher read the bl*nked lyrics in the Daily Mail and decided to hold
him personally responsible for all the evils currently flooding society. Eminem was
the graffiti name of choice from that moment onwards.
Amongst the boys, Eminem is still very much revered, although there's a tendency
to worship any over the top guitar playing. Thanks to The Osbournes, I guess, there's
a small but profitable trade in hiring out the family collection of Black Sabbath and
Motorhead
albums and the like. Nirvana is a band that's still popular, even though the Year 7s
were still in nappies when Kurt Cobain shot his own brains out ten years ago. And do they
really know the music of the Dead Kennedys and Ramones, or is it just cool to
wear hooded tops bearing those names? Their parents might well have the original LPs, so maybe
now it's okay to share music tastes with your parents. Another side effect of The Osbournes?
If that's the case, maybe it's okay to dust off the CDs I thought I was too old for? Maybe I'll still keep hiding the CD cases from the view of any toerag peering through my car window. I don't want to be heckled for my unerring ignorance of musical fashions.
added 12/4/04
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