rantingteacher.co.uk

Quick Quiz

The idea for this came about after a hectic day at school. I just thought I'd test you all to see if you've been paying attention at the back. Let's see if you would have made better or worse decisions than I made. Let me give you some encouragement: I ended up shouting at the kids by the end of the day, but hopefully you won't feel that bad after taking the quiz. Lesson details and subjects have been changed - I would say in order to protect the innocent, but what I really mean is to protect my own backside from a good booting by the headteacher. Are you ready? Let us begin:

1. You're discussing the balcony scene from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and are compiling a list of Juliet's characteristics when one boy shouts out a slang word for "frigid". Do you:

1. Ignore it. He's not the only one calling out, and, besides, if you react it will only make it worse. (Score 4 points)
2. Sweep round and ask him to explain what he means by that word until he turns red and apologises. (Score 5 points)
3. Spend ten minutes examining whether or not this is one of Juliet's characteristics, finishing up with a list of five reasons why people might find the term offensive. (Score 3 points)
4. Tell him to stay behind at the end of the lesson, and then set him an essay entitled "Modern ideas of sexuality in relation to Elizabethan literature, with particular emphasis on romantic ideals of courtly love". (Score 2 points)
5. Ask him if he's talking about his mum again. (Score 1 point)

2. You've been given a cover lesson in a subject which you last studied when you were the kids' age. No work has been left, and because the teacher is on long-term sick leave the kids haven't had a proper lesson in this subject for weeks. Do you:

1. Tell them to get on with their homework because you've got marking to do. (2 points)
2. Let them wander the school looking for computers that they can play on. (1 point)
3. Give them copies of text books you find lying about and tell them they've got half an hour to revise chapter 1 for a team quiz. (5 points)
4. March down to the head of department's room, disturbing his lesson, and demand some work for the class. (3 points)
5. Lead a lesson on something you vaguely remember from your own schooling and make each pupil produce immaculate diagrams on the topic which may, or may not, be absolutely right. (4 points)

3. Your tutor group shuffles in for registration eating sweets and crisps. Do you:

1. Allow them to finish in their own time. After all, for many of them this is breakfast. (5 points)
2. Stand at the door with the bin and make them throw everything away. (3 points)
3. Give out detentions to each pupil that's eating - you've given enough warnings, now it's time to get tough. (2 points)
4. Tell the fattest one that if they carry on with those unhealthy snacks you're going to have to widen the door frame. (1 point)
5. Remind them of the rules and give them 30 seconds to make the snacks disappear before you start getting tough. (4 points)

4. It's low level irritation time. One kid keeps drumming on the desk and ignores your warning of raised eyebrow, snapping fingers and pause in your instructions. Do you:

1. Snap and order the kid out of the room. (2 points)
2. Slam your hand on top of the kid's to force him to stop. (3 points)
3. Join in with your own drumming and tell the kid you dig his grooves. (4 points)
4. Tell him to sit on his hands until you say so. (5 points)
5. Order him to stop before you are compelled to shove your magic marker where the sun don't shine. (1 point)

Your score

added 4/6/04

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