rantingteacher.co.uk

Report Writing Season

It’s been a year since I whinged about report writing, and yet here it is again: the end of year reports are demanding to be written, and once again we find ourselves frustrated because we can’t really say what we mean.

At other times of the year the reports we send home are a more straightforward selection of grades from A to E, perhaps with some summative comments thrown in. The end of year reports are a much grander affair, and we have lists of comments to choose from, depending on whether we think the child is an A grade or an E. Therefore an A grade comment might read something like “He has produced some excellent homework which has shown his depth of insight into the topic” but an E grade comment might be “Lack of organisation and commitment has meant that he has failed to hand in much of the homework this year”. Having the wording already figured out is meant to save us time but it also means that there isn’t much room for flexibility or individuality. Plus, the comments aren’t really what I mean at all. Here is what I have in mind when I grade the pupils I teach:

Behaviour

A = thank god he’s in the class. At least there’s someone willing to collect in books and answer questions.
B = nothing special, but be thankful he doesn’t play up. Like a ghost child really. Not noticed much.
C = less than desirable behaviour. Plays up at times but nothing a good bollocking doesn’t sort out.
D = disruptive little s***. Annoying, doesn’t listen, disturbs others.
E = drives me to drink. Makes me question my vocation. Nobody can do anything with him and we’re stuck with him until the day he goes too far. Please don’t let him be in my class next year.

Class work

A = does the work and it’s bloody good too. Will succeed in life no matter what.
B = tries hard, does the work and it’s okay. It may lack sparkle but she’ll pass her exams.
C = a bit average really. Either she’s not working at full capacity, or she’s trying really hard and average is the best she’ll be.
D = in the olden days this could be called rubbish.
E = doesn’t bother with working. Probably too busy being a little s***.

Homework

A = come on parents, admit it, you’ve done it for him haven’t you? Either that or your poor child is deprived of the conveniences of modern life, like TV and computer games, and spends his evenings chained to a desk with pots of glitter and craft glue.
B = acceptable work; questions are answered sufficiently with no particular depth and no sparkly glitter border.
C = this work is rushed and looks suspiciously like it was done on the bus on the way to school.
D = homework is rarely seen. I imagine he gets home, slings something in the microwave and settles down with his playstation while mum’s out at bingo. Any homework I do get looks like the dog got there first.
E = he has never ever done any homework. Do I look bothered though? It saves me marking it and I expect it would be rubbish anyway.

Back to the Homepage

Go to the Contents

added 11/6/06